Parenting Untips

These are just a couple of things to keep in mind while on your adventures. When you are doing an activity with your kid, the goal is connection. The goal of the activity is to spend time together and really enjoy each other. We will give you ideas for the activities and then the pages of the memory keeping book will coordinate. However, the pictures could be awesome, but the key is that you and your kid get along during the activity. You want it to end with your kid glowing and having had a great time. You want it to be a time where you really enjoyed being with your kid. So that means we have to enter into our activities with appropriate expectations, and be willing to let our kids lead the way. I promise you that a kid that is empowered will be a fun kid to be with!

So here are some things to keep in mind while doing the fun activities.

Be in the Moment (no distractions, besides documenting it).

Don’t stress about the right way to do something. In the end you can declare it a success or laugh if it wasn’t perfect. Admire the journey not necessarily the outcome or product.

Notice and comment on things, don’t ask questions (ie. I see you are using the lighter, wow that was a high jump) show your presence without judgement.

Don’t be a show off. You will probably be better at all of these things, but don’t show off, participate and be more interested in what they are doing.

Check for warning signs that they are getting frustrated, tired, hungry, or anxious. (Always pack a snack, kids are especially hungry when adventuring, some of these activities might make a child scared, be there for them – please don’t say “this is nothing to be scared of”, because in their mind it is, you could instead wonder out loud, hmm I’m not sure if I’m quite okay to walk over this log, maybe we could hold hands or go around the other way. This helps your child learn how to regulate themselves and problem solve.

Reassuring touch is super great all the time. (some kids don’t like to be hugged, but maybe a high five or fist bump, you know your kid)

Imitation is the highest form of flattery. If you are both working on something, do some of the things they are doing after they do it, try to avoid any competition and work together.

Support their ideas, if you are working on a badge and you have an activity planned and they say “Hey, could we…” try to do it. That spontaneous confirming of their thoughts will do amazing things to joy, pride and self-acceptance.

Expect great things and at the same time don’t be disappointed if it’s a flop. (Our kids, especially our “more spirited kids” are use to messing things up, let this be something that can’t be messed up. They may act like it doesn’t bother them, but it does. Being successful looks great on everyone.

A more connecting way to help keep the kids safe is to not say “be Careful”. Kids are innundated with don’t do this, do that…etc. Instead you can practice ahead of time right and dangerous ways to do things (example… let’s practice how we will do the hike… and practice running ahead and hiding, and then say, is this the right way? or if you are cooking you can practice touching the stove and say wait is this the right way?, you could “forget” how to do something safely and ask your kid to show you how it should be done. Again, do this before hand if you have worries, in the moment they will be tempted to do things in ways that you might not feel are safe. Also remember that you are there with them the whole time, the importance of connection keeping, so being a little on the dangerous side might be fun since their safety net is there.

Encourage don’t demand. Some activities have charts to fill in, suggest, and ask, but don’t plea, force, or guilt a child into the activity.

Don’t post pictures on social media during the activity and not without their permission, kids that feel they have control over that will feel more confident and safe when they have social media. You will stay connected and your kid will know you are doing the activity because you like being with them, not because you want others to see how much fun you are having. Posting afterwards can be fun, but always let your kids know, and if they don’t want to respect that.

Again watch for triggers, keep in tune with your kid to make sure the experience feels safe and fun for them.

If you have a kid that has big emotions, this connecting time might have some of those emotions come out. They will be enjoying this time so much that they may also break down. This isn’t bad, it’s just a release for them, it’s actually good. Watch this Brene Brown video on how to Empathize with them.